Beowulf: Thoughts
Like usual, it's been a while since I've posted. Since last time I've moved home with my parents for the summer. After living alone in my apartment in Pitt, this place is noisy. Mother insists on speaking to me on occasions. Father turns the tv up so damn loud that you can hear it clearly anywhere in the house. The dog smells like rotting flesh. And the cat, well the cat is fat. Obese. Incredibly horizontally inclined. So fat in fact, that he can't lay down properly anymore. When he rolls over he ends up on his back, almost high centered.

But all that's ok I guess. It would be better if mother would stop listening to the same five "Praise and Worship" cd's and constantly telling me that "you're running from God."

Anyway, that's enough complaining. Recently I've had some strange thoughts brewing in my head.

In Blade, why is it so bad to be a vampire? The good guys say that it's a curse to be a vampire. But all the vampires in the movie seem damn happy about being vampires. Maybe it's not so bad. Hell, with the blood banks, you dont' even really have to kill people. And what's up with the blood pouring out of the sprinkler system. It's their freakin food. I would be disgusted to go to a rave and suddenly have the buffet table thrown all over me.

Almond Joys have nuts. Mounds don't. Does that mean that the Almond Joys are male and Mounds female? Is there a brothel somewhere full of Mounds doxies? A place where the Almond Joys show up, pay their money, have a good time, and leave. What about the factory that makes them? Are there lots of Almond Joys and Mounds gettin it on and making little Almond Joys and Mounds?

Do Hobbit women shave their feet to be sexy? Human women shave their legs. But do Hobbit women shave their feet?

Brandon and I have discussed this one in detail before, but it seems appropriate to put here. Why does noone use the bathroom in Star Trek? Do they have bathrooms or is there a special room of Bodily Waste Monitoring Specialists who sit there all day and watch the vital signs of bowels and bladders of every member of the crew. When the bladder or bowels reach a certain point they beam it out automatically and eliminate the need for a bathroom. And if they did that, would the bladder squeezing muscles atrophe? After several generations of this would those muscles become vestigial organs or would they just be bred out entirely?

Well, that's all for today folks.

Mood: somewhat tired

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