[ Ventilation ] | Posting for Posterity

7-06-2004 3:24 am

nitrusoxyde: Posting for Posterity

Well, obviously (as has been indicated by the drama surrounding me), I've been dumped by Cory. What makes it so hard isn't that we were so close, as I was so comfortable in my relationship with her. Cory and I never argued for the entire time we've known each other. We shared alot of special memories and had alot in common.

I'm writing this because I need something to do. And idle mind is a playground for evil, or in my case depressing thoughts.

We argued about a week before the break up about her never calling me... I didn't get the hint though. The final straw was simply me wanting to visit.

She's only 17, and can't handle a serious relationship. I can understand this, but I guess I just didn't think we were that serious.

I feel horrible. Its like I've been trying to find something, and once I have it - I lost it. She was everything I ever wanted to see in a girlfriend. She reminded me of myself. (And if you say 'opposites attract' ... just don't.)

Last night I realized just how bad I'm taking this. She emailed me asking for my address to mail my stuff back. Hurt doesn't do it justice. After pouring my heart out to someone I'd never met... I was feeling better.

In my improved state, I wrote myself a letter that I read every time I get feeling bad, and it helps.

I guess my only reason for posting here is to do what everyone else does, vent. I'd paint these words on city streets if it weren't so dramatic. I just need to let it out, so I can try to be at peace with this.

Some day, after Cory's life is straight - I hope our paths cross again. She said she'd love me forever, and that I was the only guy she'd ever trusted with her heart... I just hope she doesn't change her mind as she grows up.

Mood: Obviously :(
Music: Seether w/ Amy Lee - Broken (Sirius 21 Alt Nation)

Comments (7)

David - ()

Please don't take offense to this man, just a piece of advice (from personal experience)...

Don't spend too much time waiting for a girl, who suddenly stops talking to you, to come around. I did this for several months, several months.

It's not worth it.

Trust me.

nitrusoxyde - (jared.starkey@gmail.com)

The advice is very muchly appreciated.

emajination - ()

in my experience even if they do come back, they aren't the same and you aren't the same. it never works.

fuzmeister - (The Real ST)

Kind of true. Touchy subject for me. Ouch. Don't want to talk about it. Sorry for you though, Nitrus.

Buffy - (i didn't know that could go there!)

Sorry, Bud. That totally sucks. But keep trying to keep busy.....too much time to think is never a good thing in situations like this. You'll just end up overanalyzing and dreaming up the infinite possibilities that will never become realities. Don't play the "what if" game; you'll only do more damage to yourself. Whatever happens happens. Just try not to imagine what it could be like if you did get back together; you can't live in the future anymore than you can live in the past. Good luck.

David - ()

Funny, none of us insulted you for posting this. In fact, we tried to offer advice and encouragement.

Guess we should have bitched about it's lack of relativity to our own lives. We could have hurled some sort of hate-perpetuating slur at you.

But why?

Nathan Tyree - (Overwhelmed by existential angst)

random epithet here

Your account has been disabled.

Lyric

I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kings.

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